Hello everyone, how are you all doing? As always leave me a comment in the comments box below and I’ll be sure to reply 😊
So.. still going through this relapse… I think I’m going into week 3 now. I’m still remaining positive and a lot more calmer and less stressed out this time, which is much better for recovery. The worst symptom of this relapse is the fatigue.. it’s just horrid! I find I can do little bits and bobs around the house but the fatigue just hits me out of nowhere and have to just rest.
I have had thoughts going through my head (you know, those pesky negative ones) saying like “you need to be trying harder to do more” or “it’s not that bad you’re only tired!” When these thoughts crop up I have to try and fight them and tell them to go away – and remember that it’s not just “feeling tired” — I explained it well to a friend yesterday.. I feel like sometimes I have the flu and hungover at the same time 😂
I managed to go out for a walk on Thursday just gone to Sainsburys down the road from us (about 5 mins walk) which was a fab achievement, when we got there George went around the shops getting things and I sat in the cafe and enjoyed a lovely orange juice while resting.. then we had a slow walk back. When I got home I felt good and proud, a bit tired so I just made sure I relaxed for an hour or two.
en Saturday just gone my lovely friend from work took me to our local garden centre for a little walk around and admired all the Christmas decorations (they were gorgeous and I bought 2 baubles) however, just walking around there for 10 mins was starting to tire me out, so we went to the cafe and had a lovely drink and sit down for about half an hour… The exhaustion was still creeping up on me and I knew it was time to leave soon.
As we were leaving I could just feel myself getting worse and I knew I needed to just lie down and rest, my friend was amazing and drove me home and made sure I got to the front door okay 😊 then when I got in I went upstairs and had a lie down for a while before dinner.
Sunday (yesterday) I still felt a little rubbish so.. I changed it around.. I got the sofa bed out, made it all cosy, got my delicious green smoothie for breakfast and watched a lovely film on the Tele.
My Aunt, Uncle and Grandmother also came to visit me, which was lovely.. when they got to me my Aunt said that they were going to take me back to the garden centre only this time they had spoken to someone and they said we could use one of their wheelchairs to help me get about more.
This was good, sensible but I was terrified.. mainly about what others would think, especially having my grandmother walk beside me and me in the chair… As we approached the garden centre and my Aunt brought out the wheelchair I was feeling more and more anxious… But… I pushed through the anxiety and thought “sod it” “I AM going to have a lovely time” and I knew I shouldn’t care about what others thought.. so in the chair I got.
I think my Aunt had more fun than me, she wanted to go fast and was having a great time.. so was I too.. we were able to go around all the other shops in the garden centre precinct (something I I wouldn’t have been able to walk to without becoming exhausted) we looked at clothes and shoes which were lovely.
we then went into the garden centre and got some delicious lunch, I still felt good and the fatigue hadn’t hit me… I honestly felt good and was actually enjoying myself 😊
After lunch we went to the actual garden centre part (outside) and got some new flowers for my garden.. then a look around the Christmas Decor (I didn’t get anymore baubles) I got a lovely writing set though!
By the time we got home I felt tired but I would say exhausted. I had a sit down and rest with my grandmother whilst my Aunt and Uncle sorted my garden out for me 😊 and because I had reserved energy I was able to make a delicious soup for mine and George’s dinner (Carrot & Sweet Potato Spiced Soup) and make cups of tea for everyone.. which was great.
By the time everyone left I was feeling exhausted again, however I was much happier.. and I now think that having that wheelchair temporarily whilst going around the garden centre enabled me to spend longer there enjoying all the lovely things and didn’t take any energy away from me.
Part of me felt that I was “too lazy” to be in the chair being pushed around.. but I just remembered back to Saturday, how walking around made me feel so much worse… And that having the chair made me actually feel better and have fun… So while I’m recovering if I do anything big like going out with family.. maybe having a wheelchair for those “just in case moments'” might be a good idea…?
I’d love to hear your thoughts.. sorry it’s been a long post lol.
Sending you all lots of love and hugs