Going Back To Work…Again

Hello everyone, how are you all? Leave me a comment below letting me know how your day is going.

As the title would suggest… I’m going back to work today… Again. Now the ‘again’ part of the title is because I’ve been through this before this year when I had my first fairly big relapse of the year. I wasn’t off work for as long as this relapse, however my doctor feels that I went back to work too early and should off probably had longer off… But when you get very little money whilst being off sick, it makes it difficult to remain off so therefore I had to go back to work sooner.

I have also done phased return once before as well and again my doctor and many others felt that I rushed going back to work full time and that I should of had a longer phased return period… But once again… Money was the issue and I couldn’t really afford to continue the phased return so I went back to work full time maybe too soon, who knows because at that time I honestly thought I was okay.. I felt a lot better in myself and I thought I was ready to go back full time… You just never know with MS – there’s no explanation as to why we relapse or how long the recovery period will be.. It’s just time. 

This time though is a bit different… I’ve had a longer period off work and I really do think it’s benefitted me and my recovery, I did want to go back to work at the end of July but when it came down to it, I just didn’t feel ready so I had another two weeks off work, which has really helped and now I am feeling a lot more stronger and confident to cope with a few hours at work. I’m also going to take my time with phased return too.. I’ve been a lot mor knowledgable with my money this time and have been able to save some money from previous wage slips so I can afford to carry the phased return period for a little longer. 

For those of you who are unsure what phased return to work is… It’s basically a schedule discussed with your doctor and manager of how many hours you can cope with when going back to work if you’ve been off for a long period or have been off with problems relating a condition or disability and then liaising with your doctor and manager you gradually increase the hours till eventually you are able to resume to your normal working pattern… some people however may need to reduce their normal working hours due to their health condition – something that I may consider, but like I said before… This condition is unknown and only time will tell how I’m going to feel. 

It’s my first day back today and I’m feeling good but also a little nervous, you know those first day back nerves.. I’m very lucky in the fact that majority of my colleagues have stayed in touch with me whilst I’ve been off and are all looking forward to seeing me, which will make going back a lot easier. I’m doing three hours a day at the moment 1-2 which I feel happy and confident with , my anxiety isn’t playing up at the thought of ‘oh what if I can’t cope’ because I’ve decided the hours that I can manage with at the moment.. You have to be strong when you do this.. At the end of the day this is YOUR body, YOUR life and only YOU know how you feel.. Although sometimes for me it’s hard to tell how I feel. 

I didn’t know if any of you would like me to document my phased return week by week? Let me know what you think to this idea or anything else you’d like to read. 🙂

I’m feeling positive and ready… So now I’m going to ‘slay’ the day and then after work I have to pop to the doctors to get another note for my phased return for me and then I’m going to see my best friend for a nice cup of tea and chill before coming home. 

I hope anyone reading this is having a good day and I’m sending you all hugs!

Much Love

Hannah xx

2 Weeks into my Recoery Goals

Hello everyone how are you all? Leave me some comments below as I’d love to hear how you’re all doing. 

Last week I published a post telling you how I’d got on with my recovery goals a week on, well today I’m giving you all another update but this will be 2 weeks into my recovery goals. 

So like before here are the goals that I set myself:-

1) Preparing Breakfast and lunches at the end of the week (Sunday) – Well as I write this I’m currently away at my Aunts for my final little break before I go back to work.. So I haven’t been doing this goal much, however when I was at home last week I did make sure that lunches were prepped and ready to go for the week on Sunday night, which has been such a help! Breakfasts have been fairly easy, all I do is break up a ripe banana and put it in my smoothie maker along with some frozen fruit of choice, 2 cubes of frozen spinach, some cinnamon and ginger, 2 tbsp oats and some coconut sugar then fill half with almond milk and the rest with water and blend.. It takes me 5 mins and then that’s my breakfast sorted.

(breakfast at my Aunt’s house!) 

2) Getting up in the mornings at 9am, getting washed, dressed, makeup and hair done ready for the day – This has become a very good habit now, especially since George has been back off holiday and back to work himself it makes it a good routine. I’ve also been having an ice cold glass of water to drink along with a cup of lemon and ginger tea and then a decaf coffee if I want one and I’ve also been trying a little bit of Yoga too! My lovely friend Natalie from surviving life’s hurdles told me that Yoga with Arienne is brilliant and she does a sit down class of 10 minutes on YouTube, which I have found to be great and really helps me to take up ready for the day ahead!

3) Practice the piano once a day – Well this has been my favourite goal and one that I’ve been able to achieve well! In fact I practice at least twice a day when I feel like it and I have finally finished practicing and learning the piece that I’ve been learning for years right to the end now! I mentioned it in my last post… It’s by a composer called Ludivico Einaudi and the piece is called I Giorni. It’s such a beautiful piece and so relaxing to play, I feel so happy and proud of myself that I’ve managed to learn and play it right to the end!! That’s a separate goal that I set myself when I started playing again and I’ve achieved that!

4) Going for a walk every day –  I’m also doing really well at this now too, I’m making sure that I go out for a walk every day now, whether that be in the morning or afternoon. I always make sure I get out and since coming to my Aunt’s I’ve been able to do little steps WITHOUT my crutch around the house, which is fantastic!! Small steps lead to big mountains and I”m also trying to only use one crutch when we go out and about, again something I wouldn’t have done 2 weeks ago!

5) Writing Blog Posts and Interacting on social media – So my blog is continuing to grow,  which I am thrilled about and it’s also interesting to read other people’s blogs too and interact with others too. I’m still enjoying writing my blog too I suppose I just love talking to you all and writing down how I’m feeling and how I’m managing MS – It’s also enabled me to connecting with some larger groups too and share my stories, recently on Instagram I’ve been able to share my story and challenges with MS through the MS Societ, which again has been fantastic! I’m definitely going to continue to write on my blog and any offers for sharing my story or tips I’ll take with both hands.

1 Week into my Recovery Goals

I wrote a post last week about ‘Setting some Recovery Goals’ and seen as its been a week I thought I’d give you an update on how I was getting on… 

I’ll remind you all of the small goals that I’d set myself:- 

1) Preparing breakfasts and lunches at the end of the week (Sunday) – Okay so I have been going with the flow on this one I’ve been making sure I get breakfasts and make smoothie’s every day but I’m not making actual smoothie bags, however I definitely want to get back into the habit of making them so that when I go back to work life will be a little easier for me. Same with Lunches, I just need to get into the habit of making things so that I can just access them to make life easier.. But I’m getting there 🙂

2) Get up in the mornings at 9am, get washed, dressed, makeup and hair done so I’m ready for the day – This has been a very successful goal and I think it’s because I have been pushing myself to make the effort just to get up in the mornings, however whilst I’m writing this I’m having a ‘rest day’ of only a little makeup… Not much done to my hair and some comfy clothes on.. Cause let’s face it.. We can’t make an effort all of the time can we? 🙂

3) Practice the piano once a day – Again this has become a lovely habit that I have stuck too… Every day when I’ve felt like it I’ve played the piano, my Aunt also has given me daily piano lesson via Face Time, which has been great and I’m fINALLY almost finished learning my favourite song by my favourite composer Ludivico Einaudi called ‘I Giorni’ I’e been loving playing it’s been really relaxing and just taken me away from any troubles I may have had.. and the best part.. I play whenever I want 🙂 

4) Going for a walk every day – Yes I’m making sure I do this every day and I’m even starting to go out on my own without having an anxiety attack which is fantastic! I’m also trying to go a little bit further every day.. I do have ‘rest days’ where I choose whether to go out or whether to stay inside in my cosy clothes and watch episodes of Sex and The City, which because I’m choosing to do those it doesn’t feel like an entrapment in my own house. (if you understand?)

5) Writing Blog posts and interacting on social media –  So I’ve thrown myself out there a little and joined some social media blogging groups and loving it! I’m really enjoying connecting with new people and getting some blogging advice.. I’m also enjoying writing on my blog and just love writing in general, my dream one day is to do something like this for a living.. Who knows, dreams can come true right? 

And that is where I’m up to on my ‘Recovery Goals’ I’m really happy that I’m making progress and I love writing it down and sharing it with you guys reading this… I think I’ll keep writing weekly updates as it’s good to look back.. Or if I find myself in a similar situation again 9who know’s with MS) then at least I can look back and see that I got thought it once… I can sure do it again!

Thank You for reading

Love Hannah

Setting some Recovery Goals

Hello everyone, I hope you’re all well?

I had recently written a blog post about setting some recovery goals but for some reason it wouldn’t allow me to publish it… So here I am writing it again. 

Looking back on the goals that I set myself and thinking about going back to work made me think ‘what if I’m not ready to go back yet?’ There are some people who think that I’ve had enough time off now and that I’ve been sick for long enough and should go back to work… And do you want to know the funny thing… I WANT TO GO BACK TO WORK! Sometimes I want to say ‘do you think that I want to be like this? 27 years old and not being able to do the things that I normally do, May that be working or just doing stuff’ I want to get up and go to work and then come home like ‘normal’ people, but right now I can’t and I need to do things that I can do in my own time.

The previous goals that I set I now feel were a little to high… I know now that I need to set more realistic goals for the time that I’m going through now.

What are Recovery Goals?

For me, recovery goals are little accomplishments that are easy to achieve on a daily basis… They are also there to help build up my physical and emotional strength and allow me to gradually get back to a slight normality – the sensible way. These goals that I’m setting to ‘normal’ people will seem very basic and simple.. Some people may even think ‘oh you can do those straight away’ (do not listen to these comments – take as much time as you need to achieve these goals and then YOU will feel happy you’ve accomplished them. 

Okay… Here are my goals:-

1) Preparing breakfasts and lunches at the end of the week (Sunday) so that you have them for the next few days – I make smoothie bags for breakfast and sandwiches for lunches so this is what I shall do.

2) Get up in the mornings at 9am, get washed, dressed, makeup and hair so you’re ready to face the day – however long this takes to begin with make sure you get up and out of bed at 9am – tracking my progress in my Bullet Journal.

3) Practising the Piano once a day – When I was at my Aunts I played the piano every single day, I used to play when I was younger and then time just went on by – as it does! But since I’ve returned from her’s I’ve been getting back into playing the piano and learning some new pieces… it’s been knackering yes, but also so relaxing and calming.. Also it’s great to help keep my brain stimulated. 

4) Going for a walk every day – I need to make sure that I do this every day, not only to help with my physical health and getting me stronger, but to also help my mental health and get me out of the house! Even if it’s just a short walk at a time that’s something and it’s all building up.

5) Writing blog posts and interacting on social media – I know some people may laugh a little at this, however this is again so important for mental health – getting things down and feelings out there stop you from bottling things up and secondly interacting more on social media not only will help you gain some new friends, but will also make you feel less alone whilst being off sick. 

I’m going to leave the goals at these for now, I feel a lot happier about these and I feel that they are more achievable – I’m thinking of doing another ‘Goals’ post once I’ve accomplished these ones  you’ll have to let me know what you think to that idea?

I hope everyone is okay and having a good day.

Take acre

Love Hannah xx

“But you don’t look sick” 

How many of us have heard the above phrase?!?!

I’ve heard it luckily only a few times.. however since being off with this relapse and now that I’m getting slightly better I get “oh when are you going back to work?” “Are you going to go back sooner?” “Why aren’t you going back now?” “Why are you going out when you should be sick?” “How can you go out and look around at some shops but not go to work?” 

 I find this really difficult and hard to handle when people ask me the above questions.. and it’s even harder when my brain over thinks it’s as it usually does and I have this questions in auto-pilot whizzing around in my head. 

I’ve had this battle recently and instead of getting angry, I try and educate… I try to explain how I feel.. explain that yes I’m making more of an effort and putting makeup on and going out for short trips.. but I find it so hard and it almost knocks me back when I get the above questions asked.. after this recent episode I now feel that I don’t want to make an effort or do my hair and put a bit of makeup on… Because as soon as I make myself look reasonably appealing……. Then…. I definitely.. DONT LOOK SICK! At least with no makeup and my hair a bit of a mess I look like I’m not overly well. 

Through this recent relapse I went through a phase of being terrified to leave my house in case I was seen out and therefore assumed that I was well and “why wasn’t I at work?” So I just stayed indoors… Yep… I didn’t leave the house… At all!! It got to a stage that if I left the house id have an anxiety attack.. and I would feel everyone was watching or spying on me… I felt hunted!

Just going to the doctors was a big challenge because I wasn’t at home in bed as it were… My doctor told me that I needed to get out of the house.. that I was allowed to leave the house and do things as part of my recovery… I went away to my Aunt’s (as you know from my recent post) and felt the confidence coming back… The more times we went out (only little trips) the more safe I felt and by the end of the week I was starting to feel more myself again… Something which I hadn’t felt in a long time.

Then the questions began again…. So… Facing my fear dead on… I spoke about it.. I turned it around and explained exactly how I felt and how MS affects me… How life is really bloody hard sometimes but I still smile and carry on… I was asked how it makes me feel… I said this… 

Imagine you’ve gone to bed and forgotten to charge your phone…. In the morning you wake up… You’re on 85% battery.. the night didn’t do too much damage… You manage to get through the day.. doing all your things and get home with 50% battery… Feeling pretty proud and pleased…. You go to sleep And once again… Forget to put your phone on charge… You wake up the next morning… 15% battery!! You go to take your charge to work but… Forget.. so you now have to get through the whole day with 15% battery on your phone… Do you manage it? Probably not… 

This is how I feel most days.. although.. I sleep well… I get about 8 hours.. I do all the right things (is there even a right thing to do?!) And I have to manage because I like many others I don’t have a choice.. and when we are knocked down… Please don’t judge us when we go out… Maybe for some of us it’s the first time… That’s quite a scary time.. believe me I’ve been there. 

I was then asked about if I do things to manage my illness? And what about food? And I have to admit… This made me a little angry…I manage EVERY SINGLE DAY!! Always trying to find ways to help myself… Using my Bullet Journal every single day to manage fatigue and write down symptoms and meal planning etc…. Now with food.. I was asked if “I cut things out of my diet” and that answer is yes I have… I’ve cut out Caffine, red meat, some dairy products and refined sugars… I try to have spinach in every meal.. but do you know what??!! WE ARE ALL HUMAN!! we all have periods of “I must have Chinese take away now!!” Etc.. but that’s just life.. some of us cant go through life restricting things we love just in case it might cause harm?! 

I’m just an ordinary girl… Living with Multiple Sclerosis… A disease that you can’t see… When I make an effort and put some makeup on and go out for a walk.. it’s because I’m doing it to make myself feel better… I’m doing it to help and aid my recovery.. because believe me inside… Most of the time… I feel pretty rubbish… There are times however that I feel good and alive and I treasure those moments! 

Basically this is a blog post for “Normal” people who don’t understand… Who dont get it that I look well and look fine.. but why aren’t I at work?! 

Well my friends… Here is your answer! 

Rant over!! 

Sorry I needed to get this off my chest

Sending much love to all

Hannah xx

A Break Away… 

Hello everyone 😊 how are you all today?

Today I’m going to go and stay with my Aunt, Grandmother and Uncle for a few days.. just for a “Break Away” or change of scenery…also to help build up my confidence about going out and to help my mental health and this relapse etc.. 

Picnic in the Country

So.. my first little adventure after having a rest when I arrived at my Aunt’s, was having tea at her field (we call it Riverside Meadows – it’s a fitting name because it’s next to a river and one of the fields looks like a meadow) she has horses and has had this field right from an early age! 

It’s so peaceful and tranquil… Perfect little get away to just forget about the rest of the world – the horses wanted to join in however. It’s just so nice to breath a different kind of air without feeling anxious or nervous about doing it… I have felt a little anxious because let’s face it anxiety does just go away, although I do feel a lot better being here and going out.

Tomorrow we are heading into town to get a couple of bits for my grandmother and to have a look around also – again the anxiety is there.. but I will accept it and deal with it.. I just need to keep telling myself that I AM allowed to go out as part of my recovery! 

A trip to Town

Good morning everyone, I hope you slept well? 

We are off to town this morning to have a little wander around the shops and to get a few bits… I’ve been using this amazing herbal relaxer by “Bach” and it’s brilliant for relaxing you.. you out a couple of drops onto your tongue and into some water and really does help you to relax! Unfortunately I’m running out so will need to pick up some more I get mine from Holland and Barrett.. and a fan for my bedroom because I was a tad warm last night lol! 

Since this relapse I’ve had smoothies every day for my breakfast… On a Sunday night I bag up a load of different fruits and add some greens (spinach or kale or both lol) put them all into the freezer so in the morning I just pick them out and blitz them up! This hasn’t changed since coming to my Aunt’s house.. here is a breakfast smoothie I made this morning! I also add oats to keep me fuller for longer! 

Right, I’m back from town! I think today is the longest I’ve walked in the 3 weeks I’ve been off!! Feeling quite tired now, so I know this afternoon I need to rest before going down to the field for our little evening supper. 

Whilst in town I visited a health shop and saw a lovely gentleman whose helping to relieve my anxiety through essential oils and aroma therapy oils.. I then popped into Boots to get some more Co-Codamol for the pain.. then to the Coop to get some bits to make homemade granola… Then back to my grandmother’s for a homemade chicken dinner… It’s been lovely to come away and not have to worry or do anything.. sometimes it’s nice to do this.. a nice treat in my reality.

Visiting Friends and Field adventures

Good Morning everyone I hope you all slept relatively well.. I did however woke up once but luckily managed to go back to sleep.

Today my Aunt and I are going to visit a friend who I haven’t seen for a long time… My Aunt is a piano teacher and she used to teach a gentleman and I used to go with her to their house and have coffee with his wife and play with their young son… But as time goes on we just get too busy with our lives don’t we? Now their son is in secondary school!! That makes me feel quite old.. and he’s having piano lessons now.

Once we arrived we were warmly greeted by our friend and had a lovely morning drinking tea and coffee.. they’re all lovely and I met their beautiful dog who is just so adorable.. I LOVE animals! 

I felt so relaxed and at ease whilst there… My anxiety didn’t affect me once, which is great! It comes and goes but not as bad as when I’m at home and going out..  just feeling a bit fatiguee today… 

12:30 and just had lunch made by my grandmother.. it was delicious and a real treat! Then having a little walk to the field with my crutches and Aunt afterwards, which was lovely seeing the horses and kitties.. I just love coming down here as is just so tranquil and relaxing! Sat in the barn listening to the rain.

Back now and sat in the front room resting whilst my Nana watches the Tennis 😊 my Aunt teaches this afternoon so I make sure I rest fully. 

And finally another evening supper in the barn at the field with a pony 😊 

Girls about town:- Mid-Morning tea, The Market, The Health Man and My first Bet! 

This morning my Aunt is taking me to visit The Market, it’s in every Wednesday where she lives and they sometimes have some good deals. 

Firstly we went to see this lovely little health chap in a hidden little health shop (a little like Holland and Barrett just much smaller) I loved it in here.. a lovely traditional shop filled with lots of wholesome goodies.. lots of veggie and vegan stuff too! We had been to see him on Monday and I’d explained about the anxiety and how I was feeling, he had told me that he was seeing his aromatherapist and would ask about me to see if she could help… Well we popped back today and he presented me with two essential oils… Neroli Oil and Juniper Berry Oil they are both quite strong in scent but ever so relaxing.. he told me I can use them in my diffuser at home.. or carry them around with me and if I feel an anxiety attack coming on I can use them! They’re quite expensive but I fully trust the man I spoke to because…. HE LISTENED TO ME! Shock horror right? Yep! And he’s really done his research for me.. so we purchased both bottles! 

After this we headed to a lovely little café for ‘Mid- Morning’ tea my Aunt knew this lovely gentleman who owned/ran it, we had a reserved table and greeted by a friendly welcome.. it was very traditional and quaint.. I love these cafés that have authenticity and kind of history to them.. we then had tea and it was absolutely delicious! At 10:15AM!! Haha

We didn’t eat all of the cakes lol, so took some home to enjoy later! Doesn’t it look beautiful presented 😊

(Image from TripAdvisor)

Once we had received ourselves we travelled around the market for a little walk around before heading home.. it was lovely and my anxiety is getting lower and lower which is great.. I’m finally feeling ‘ok’ about being out whilst off sick because seeing these beautiful places albeit slowly are definitely making me feel slowly better 😊 and I bought myself some lovely new trousers! 

To finish off our little day last night, my Aunt and I took the camping gear down to the field (all in the car lol) and had tea. It was very exciting setting all the camping bits up.. I helped whilst sat down (I’m getting quite good going off road on my crutches!!) And for our tea we had sweet potato with baked beans and for desert we had water melon.. delicious!! 

Garden Centre visit
Good Morning everyone, I am sat writing this whilst having a nice cup of tea and take some painkillers… I’m feeling quite exhausted today (I’m learning to to say tired lol) and the nerve pain is a little stronger today.. I think I may have just done a little too much yesterday, however I LOVED it and I just know that I need to rest more today.

So that is what today is all about… We had a relaxing morning at the house, I’ve been playing the piano a lot more whilst I’ve been here which has been lovely.. We then had a lovely home cooked lunch (my Nana is amazing!) Of chicken pie and veg.

Once we had had lunch we set off to visit a lovely garden centre fairly close to where my Aunt and Grandmother lived. It’s such a lovely place to visit for an afternoon, such lovely things to look at and of course we had to have a cup of tea! 

(This was a parrot they had called Max)

I also found this amazing kitchen gadget which will come in very useful! 

You basically put underneath whatever you want to chop and the pot does the job for you! This is going to make life so much easier for me and I can’t wait to start using it! 

The final supper at the field… I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my stay here this week, it’s been so lovely to not have to worry about anything, to not think of meals to cook etc I’ve been very spoilt and I’ll be forever grateful! So down we all go to the field for our final dinner.. cooking in the stove again… I can’t wait! 

A little Downtown trip

So… Last day with my Aunt and Grandmother before going home tomorrow.. I’ve really enjoyed my stay and found it so helpful and great to have this little ‘Break Away’… Even though this relapse is still affecting me.. I’m mentally able to manage it so much better 😊

An early start this morning to Downtown… My aunt and Grandmother come her often and have a meal in the cafe whilst looking around all the bargains… It was so nice to go with them today… I felt a bit of anxiety creep up onto me but I managed to keep it at bay! 

We had a delicious jacket potato, cheese and beans for lunch.. and then had a look around the lovely things 😁👍

I saw this BEAUTIFUL back pack after lunch.. the kind you fall in love with lol! It was by David Jones and I have one of his bags at home that I love too! It’s a pale pink bag pack satchel with rose gold detailing… I went away and had a look around some other bits… This was the first time I didn’t feel anxious or guilty about looking around the shops… 

As we were looking around I saw this beautiful top.. again a nice pale pink covered in butterflies and my Nana ever so kindly brought it for me 😊 

And now down to the field – this has been my ritual and determination whilst being here.. no matter how tired I felt or if I was in pain I WAS going to have my tea at the beautiful field and guess what…. I DID IT! Off road with my crutches as well lol! 😊 *High five*! 

Now I’m home with my boys! Going to have a relaxing night with them both and watch Dr Who 😊 

Thank you so much for reading.. I hope you’ve all enjoyed it! Sorry it’s been long! 

Lots of Love

Hannah xx

Living with Multiple Sclerosis

Recently I saw the amazing and beautiful Nic Chapman from Pixiwoo speak about being diagnosed and living with Multiple Sclerosis. Her YouTube video so so moving and inspiring and good on her for making it as I’m sure it was very hard to do so. 

I feel so passionately about talking about Multiple Sclerosis as I feel noone really talks about it… I hear a lot of people saying “they feel people are bored about it” or “I just say I’m fine because people get fed up of me feeling ill all the time”.. I got so fed up of this that I decided with the help of my internet friend and fellow MSer Natalie (survivinglifeshurdles.com) to set up a FaceBook group — http://www.facebook.com/groups/718223168361813/

I then saw yesterday (Mon 10th July) Nic Chapman being interviewed by Lorraine Kelly about living with MS.. again great interview and I love Nic’s positive outlook on this illness…. However, I do wish they’d interview an ordinary person living with a chronic life long illness like MS as some of us find it hard to train or go to the gym regularly… We also unfortunately don’t have the luxury of having our meals cooked for us everyday… I admire and love Nic as well as Pixiwoo and think she’s an incredible woman.. working so hard to where she is now.. she mentioned about not letting MS define her & not letting it affect her.. she knows when to rest and she lives life to the full, which is fabulous! 

This is how I… An ordinary person lives with Multiple Sclerosis…

Every morning apart from Thursdays and Sundays I get up at 6:30am and get ready for work.. I then work 9:00am till 5:30pm getting 1/2 hour break in the morning and an hour in the after to which I rest on both.. I never go out on my breaks.. or very rarely as work can get quite busy.. I get home at roughly 6:15pm… I normally rest for 1/2 an hour and then get dinners or lunches ready for the next day.

My partner helps me either cooking dinner or making lunches, however I’m the one who plans and researches all our meals and works hard planning them all.. after this it’s usually about 7;30pm-8:00pm… I then head upstairs and get my bag and clothes ready for next day… 9:30pm meditation then sleep. 

I have to plan my days strategically in order for me to get through the day.. Fatigue affects me every single day.. sometimes it’s worse than others.. but like all of us.. I carry on going. 

I get told a lot by various medical professionals that I need to be active and exercise in order to possibly help my MS…. My problem with this is… Have you just read my daily routine? After all that how do they expect me to exercise? On my day off on Thursdays I usually have a driving lesson in the morning for an hour, which exhausts me afterwards and when I get home I need to rest for a bit and then I can do things that I want to do.. Sundays are for seeing family and friends and most of all…. Relaxing! 

I struggle quite a bit sometimes to live with MS and balance my everyday life etc.. I use my Bullet Journal a lot to plan my days in order for me to manage and get through each day. 

I do feel sometimes that all my energy goes into work.. like this… Wake up, go to work, come home, sleep.. you know.. that cycle… I know a few some people may think “why don’t you do something after work” well I would love to.. sometimes I really would… Also sometimes on a Wednesday night I see my sister, now that the weather’s nice we like to go to our local country park for a walk… However depending on how busy I’ve been at work it’s usually difficult to find the energy to push myself that little bit further and also I need to cook my dinner so again.. more energy to find. 

Working full time is great because I feel like a “normal” person lol.. however I can’t deny that working full time (getting up early and finishing late) organising home life and having time for myself is hard.. I have been contemplating reducing my hours since this current relapse.. even to just 4 days a week, however it’s a money issue.. I can’t quite afford to that I mean I could pay the bills, I just wouldn’t have any money left for myself. So i have applied for PIP (Personal Independence Payment) it was absolutely terrifying and set off a few anxiety attacks to a point where I stopped filling it in for a while and had to ask for an extension… It’s all sent off now and I’m just waiting to hear back (trying hard not to think about that) 

If I get awarded this extra help, it will mean that I’ll be able to reduce my hours at work and then be able to start living my life a little better and a little less regimented. 

I want to share and spread the word on what living with MS is like.. I love life to its full potential most days, however sometimes I can’t and being a relatively young person that sometimes is hard to deal with… I want to talk about the reality of living with MS. We all put on a brave face and “slay the day” (I love that saying) and don’t let it define us, however I feel people need to know the bad stuff as well as the good stuff… How it truly is! Im a positive person so I will always try and turn negatives into positives.. but sometimes people need to know the reality. 

I watched a vlog on YouTube today of one of my favourite bloggers Hannah Gale, she was taking you through a few weeks of her early pregnancy, about what it felt like etc… I thought it was brilliant.. the true reality of how she felt every day/week… I also wanted to comment and say.. this is how some people with a chronic illness feels like, I thought it was brilliant and really showed you how it was. 

Anyway… This is me… Living with Multiple Sclerosis.. diagnosed 3 years this year… Living each day as it comes… I love my life.. I love life.. but sometimes… Life is hard! 

I hope you kind of enjoyed this! 

Much love

Hannah xx